evasion

Roughly 2 weeks ago, I had the privilege to go on a 5 day, paid vacation (including my 2 day off). After my well deserved vacation, I had a few questions from my colleagues as to where did I spend it. I answered "home". in which I had received an almost "I-pity-your-ass-for-staying-home-from-a-five-day-vacation" reactions. They probably expect me to go on an out of town trip like Bohol, Tagaytay or at someplace where area codes are 3-digits. Not that I'm saying that I can't afford it...well, fuck it. I can't afford it anyway. But the honest truth is, I'd rather be home.

I don't even want to go to malls unless there's something important to purchase such as my son's supply of milk, or my stock of potato chips or back issues of men's magazines. I can't say that I'm a sociopath cos i don't (yet) feel the urge to strangle someone who gives me a "flat tire" at a crowded place. I've this fear. This fear of bumping into those life size standees, signages, escalators, babies in strollers, or worse, people that you don't ever wanted to see again once you've met them.

I knew it was a mistake buying a Valerie Concepcion-covered men's magazine. Don't get me wrong, the articles and pictures were well done. But on my way home (hurriedly), I saw my college classmate. I can't even tell you that he's a "college buddy" cos I probably didn't have one. Well, I did actually have one but he's exiled somewhere in Visayas due to reasons I can't provide. I tried to evade this person from a short conversation but he (and his companion), in an unfortunate situation, saw and approached me like a vacuum cleaner salesman.

He slapped my arm to call my attention and said "oy, kamusta?". I was praying that he did not remember my name at that time and I could buy a reason that I don't know him then leave the scene (which works, buy the way)but I was wrong. "sa'n ka na ngayon, Ian". he even knew me from my childhood nickname. And that's one type of question that you don't wanna hear coming from a pretentious prick cos you probably knew what'll happen next. Well, here it goes. "do'n pa din, call center"I responded with a sly smile. He reacted like he didn't hear anything from me. "aahhhhh..." Now I can tell that he's waiting for me to ask him the same question that he threw at me judging from the way he sustained his response. But I actually fell for it and asked him he responded: "Sa (name of bank withheld) ako ngayon-associate/executive/accounting/managing/consultant (etc.) ako dun...". I don't really know which o' those titles apply to his position but I guess that's the way he wanted to tell it. Without thinking, I asked him how long have he been working. he said 18 months. which is saying a year and a half but "18 months" is more tenured-sounding. I wanted to respond the same that he responded when I answered his first question then leave but he asked me the same question I threw at him. I said "six". He almost laughed and said "ano, six months ka pa lang? nako mahirap dyan, baka 'di ka maregular at saka pag call center, blah blah blah..." In my mind, I was gouging his eyes and grabbing his neck but I interrupted him with piercingeyes "years. six years na ko don" and at that point, I think he lost his track and asked a stupid question "...eh, ano, pano yan, regular ka na?" I tried to stop myself from laughing but I was obedient to my feeling. "sige brod, mauna nako mukhang nagmamadali KA" I left him standing with his friend mumbling the words "sino yon?" while I walk away from 'em.

That was not the first time that I encountered that situation. I guess it was the nth time. Not with the same prick of course. Usually with someone who asked the same question and as soon as I asked 'em the same, they'd conduct a "monologue" about where they work, how they work, how much they earn, how easy their jobs are compared to mine, and even the company benefits that they get. Maybe I should stop asking 'em the same questions. Maybe I should be listening to what my mind says everytime these situations happen. Maybe I should've gouged his eyes. All these pretentious pricks wanted to hear are answers to questions that, subliminally, ask themselves.